Or should I say, Betrayed, Angry as Hell and then ...depressed? If your relationship ended abruptly due to a sucker punch to the gut, an ax to the back or a step on the face with a stiletto heel to get to the next rung; I can assure you that you're not alone. Right now it may feel as if you're the only one out there that has been betrayed to such a degree that no one could possibly relate to your pain. However, after weeding through the many betrayal stories on the net which ranged anywhere from 'wimpy to pathetic' compared to my own nightmare, I came across a couple of doozies - and for some reason, as twisted as it sounds, this was my first step to healing. Disclosure: this article was not written by a doctor....of any kind. You will have to search your own doozies, most likely by another name.
If this is your first rodeo.....welcome to the club, your in good company. If this is #2 or more from the same person, from my experience, the only way not to experience #3 is to run - as hard as it may be. Close your eyes, run fast, run hard and don't look back. Because if you've stuck around after 2 or more of these gut wrenchers I would imagine your having a tough time leaving, although you probably know you should . You may also want to read up on the signature traits of a "sociopath" and if your "soulmate" (as they like to refer to themselves) happens to score high on this list, that's not a good thing. Just know, THIS PERSON WILL NOT CHANGE. Nor will they ever see it from your point of view. Ever. And unless your super cool with living a life of complete confusion, the total destruction of your self esteem and the good possibility of wasting many years of the one precious life we've been given on someone who deep down you know would rip the last life preserver out of your hands without blinking an eye and then remind you of how it was all your fault anyway as you slowly sink to the bottom....then you really need to figure out how. Trust me on this.
Let's say this is experience is #2 or #3, however from a different person. Well, one of two things could be going on here. Either you put full responsibility on your first sociopath (now I'm not saying they don't deserve it), but you didn't learn from all of the fluorescent red flags you must have seen or should have seen, and why you chose to ignore them in the first place. I'm not hatin', it's just something we have to do in order to not make the same mistakes twice - besides that, it will give you some release from obsessing on all the things they put you through, which won't do any good anyway.
Or perhaps you need to figure out why you tend to lean toward a certain type of personality that always keeps you on your toes, adding a little "drama" to your life. If you're reading this blog, my guess is that this wasn't the drama you were hoping for, and you may want to reconsider your "type".
Quite possibly, you were simply in the wrong relationship at the wrong time. There were no red flags, warning signs and you normally steer away from relationships with a chaotic "spice" to them.
Either way, your friends will let you know that "you're better off", and " when one door shuts, another opens" or "aren't you glad you found out now?" and my personal favorite "think of how much stronger you'll be". Be thankful for your friends efforts, you'll need them.
There's no quick fix, I'm not going to lie, it's painful. But there are definitely things you can do to keep your mind occupied. To be honest, I'm not there yet either, however, after reading a couple of the doozies I mentioned in the first paragraph, they all survived, there was a light at the end of the tunnel for all of them. A much better one. One that loves you enough to share their life jacket with you.
So hang in there, breathe, and remember that you are the only one that can make things better for yourself. But if you need help, don't be afraid to ask. And if you're wanting to know how long it's going to take to feel better, I can only tell you from my own experience, the sooner you start thinking about your own life and future, the sooner you'll get there....
Or perhaps you need to figure out why you tend to lean toward a certain type of personality that always keeps you on your toes, adding a little "drama" to your life. If you're reading this blog, my guess is that this wasn't the drama you were hoping for, and you may want to reconsider your "type".
Quite possibly, you were simply in the wrong relationship at the wrong time. There were no red flags, warning signs and you normally steer away from relationships with a chaotic "spice" to them.
Either way, your friends will let you know that "you're better off", and " when one door shuts, another opens" or "aren't you glad you found out now?" and my personal favorite "think of how much stronger you'll be". Be thankful for your friends efforts, you'll need them.
There's no quick fix, I'm not going to lie, it's painful. But there are definitely things you can do to keep your mind occupied. To be honest, I'm not there yet either, however, after reading a couple of the doozies I mentioned in the first paragraph, they all survived, there was a light at the end of the tunnel for all of them. A much better one. One that loves you enough to share their life jacket with you.
So hang in there, breathe, and remember that you are the only one that can make things better for yourself. But if you need help, don't be afraid to ask. And if you're wanting to know how long it's going to take to feel better, I can only tell you from my own experience, the sooner you start thinking about your own life and future, the sooner you'll get there....
